I got my Verizon troubles sorted out, finally, after many angry phone calls (and if you know me, you know angry is not something I do a lot of) and multiple visits by Verizon techs to disconnect and reconnect my phone. The last guy they sent out was clearly the big guns – he’s been with Verizon forever and knew exactly what was causing the problem.

Of course, as a science writer, I was excited about this…and I spent way too long crafting my explanatory message to the building listserv. It was like writing a consumer health story! I told everyone: Here’s the situation, here’s what it means to you, here’s what you should do if you have this problem.

I thought I’d share it here, too, so it doesn’t go to waste.

A super-competent Verizon technician was just here fixing my phone line, and he explained what the heck is going on!

The basic problem is that the box that brings in the phone lines from outside is this funky kind of box that Verizon was thinking about switching over to a few years ago – presumably about the time this building was built. Verizon decided not to go that way, but we already had one. (If you ever happen to be in the Telcom room, it’s the pair of gray boxes all the way on the right, “Krone” brand.)

The box requires a special tool to punch a line in. He said what’s probably happening is, a tech comes out here and doesn’t have the correct tool, so he jams the wire in there some other way. The wire is making contact, so there’s a dial tone, but the connection is loose. Then if somebody else comes and works in the box – like happened Monday, when they connected [neighbor]‘s line – and they jostle it a little, my wire will fall out again. (No worries, [neighbor], it would’ve happened sooner or later anyway.)

My connection is now so messed up from the techs forcing it, there’s no way to get the wire to stay in. He fixed my problem by hard-wiring my phone line to the outside line. Now, it’s possible that your phone went out as a result of his working in there. If that happens, I have his cell phone number.

So the immediate problem is that some techs are coming out without the correct tool. But the more basic problem is that we have a stupid Krone box. The tech is going to tell his supervisor that we should get a different box…but he says we shouldn’t hold our breaths. He was talking to [building manager] about this when I left.

Useful tip: If you’re calling the Verizon tech support line and the computer voice is insisting she can solve your problems just as well as a human can, and you do not wish to waste your time in such a manner, I think the magic word is “representative.” (But shouting and swearing works, too.)