Helen FieldsScience Writer

I’m in Colorado this weekend with my parents and brother, so the Dictionary of the Week is a special guest. What’s What: A Visual Glossary of the Physical World is on the shelf of the vacation rental place where we’re staying, along with such literary selections as The Story of Little Black Sambo and Bride of the Far Side.

This book sounds promising. But it turns out to be…kind of lame. It’s just a bunch of black-and-white pictures with the stuff in them labeled. For example:

I’m just not sure how it improves my life to know that the little thingy that holds the parts of a stapler together is called a “hinge pin.” And if there is anyone in the world who needs to know the names of the various bits of a paperclip, I bet they already know them.

On the inside front cover flap, the book says it’s trying to keep you from having to fall back on “such multisyllabic catchalls as ‘whatchamacallit,’ ‘thingamajig,’ and ‘whoosiwhatsis.’” But those words are really very useful. If I said to you “The actuating lever knob broke off my pencil sharpener,” you wouldn’t have any idea what I was talking about. For one thing, who still owns a desk-mounted pencil sharpener? And also, words are only useful if both participants in the conversation know them. I’d be displaying much better communication skills if I called it “the little knob thingy on the end of the, like, lever thing you use to get it to attach to the table.”

Have you ever heard anyone call the middle of the tomato a “placenta”? Yeah, neither have I.

Also, it’s cut off here, but one of the lines pointing at the lettuce says “leaf.” Ohmygosh! That’s what that thing is called? Why didn’t anyone tell me?!?

The entries don’t explain what anything is for, either – just the names. My dad’s ruling on this dictionary, with which I agree: “Useless.” It seems like it should be kind of fun, even if it’s not useful, but it’s mostly just kind of perplexing. (The Amazon reviewers disagree with me, so maybe you should buy one of the used copies and see for yourself.)

Bonus: The book has a page titled, I kid you not, “Cowboy and Indian.” There’s a paragraph of text on Indians with such useful facts as “Many decorated their faces with war paint prior to battle.” Then the entire native population of North America is visually defined by this inset at the bottom of the page:

Dictionary Stats: What’s What: A Visual Glossary of the Physical World

date: 1981
publisher: Hammond
length: 565 pages
guide words on pp. 192-193: Jacket and Pants (including “padded shoulder”and “elasticized waist”); Blouse and Skirt (including “turn-back cuff” and “dirndl skirt”)