Helen FieldsScience Writer

Oh, man. I can’t believe it took me until now to think to look for sumo videos on youtube. Yeah, that’s right, sumo. I lived in Japan for two years in the late 1990s and spent a substantial part of that two years watching sumo tournaments – they’re on TV six times a year for two weeks each time, and I was right there watching them in their commercial-free glory.

I don’t feel the highlight reels (two big guys smash into each other! one of them falls over! two more guys smash into each other! etc!) remotely capture the experience – yes, the bouts are very short, but there’s several minutes of buildup before each one. The guys throw salt in the air to purify the ring, smack themselves, line up at the starting line, stare down the other guy, go back and get more salt, repeat, repeat – here, this shows a whole bout from the time they’re announced to the time the winner gets his prize:

(Fun fact: Both of these wrestlers are Mongolian.) A bout is lost when one of the competitors steps outside the ring or touches the ground with anything but bottom of his feet. It’s a tiny ring, and they’re big guys, so momentum is a problem. The shortest bouts are when one wrestler just steps out of the way and his opponent runs out of the ring. (Shortest and also funniest.) If a bout goes over a minute, it’s really, really long. If it goes four minutes, they get to take a break.

Why was I so obsessed with sumo? Well, all the preparation is kind of hypnotic, that’s one thing. The bouts can go a lot of different ways. The ring is really high, and 300-pound men routinely fall off of it into the front row of spectators – you don’t get with other sports. And it’s just so odd. I mean, the referee is dressed like a priest.

Ah, I miss Japan.